December 28, 2011 – The Clomid Ride

Starting Clomid made for an interesting month.  I say interesting because saying hellish or nightmarish is likely to scare people.  It was not fun.  Not really even a little.  In fact, we are still debating whether or not we will take it again if we were unable to conceive this month.  Here is a run down of how Clomid changed my month…

The first 7 days of my cycle were okay.  There was the embarrassing crying, but really not much else worthy of discussion.  It was very manageable.  Then from day 8 until day 18 was where the real torture began.  Every day, all day, I was nauseous.  Not a little bit, but a lot.  I don’t vomit.  People have a hard time believing this, but I don’t unless I am pregnant.  I think if I had been a normal person, I would have vomited daily for these 10 days.  I was dizzy for no reason and just felt awful every day, all day.  There were also other fun side effects like spots in my vision.  At one point I actually caught myself swatting at what I thought were gnats swarming me… they were just black spots filling my vision.  It was as if someone had taken a picture with a flash that was way too bright.  It is difficult to read, watch TV, do chores, or drive when you have black spots filling up your vision.  Not to mention that constant vision disturbances lead to migraines. 

Fertility days (or the days when we are supposed to be having sex every other day) are from day 11 until day 18.  I told Doc that this was the first time since our early college days that I had sex while nauseous and dizzy.  It was like 2am bar closing sex, only I didn’t get to be drunk or have heard a good band before hand.  Not really as much fun at 33 as it was at 21… The final side effect was the worst, and most difficult to tolerate.  Ovulation.  This was not normal ovulation with a little pinch and done.  No.  This was the Incredible Hulk of ovulations.  It included intense (meaning would normally have driven me to the hospital) abdominal cramping.  The nausea also took this opportunity to increase.  The pain was so intense that my lower back, hips, and abdomen hurt.  It hurt way worse than the worse bladder infection I have ever had.  Imagine having the worst cramps of your life along with the worse bladder infection you can imagine and you are maybe ¾ the way there.  It was impossible to find a position to relieve the pain.  Sitting hurt, laying hurt, standing hurt, moving exponentially increased the pain, using the restroom was painful, sleeping was impossible, and sex was just awful.  I cried and Doc said he didn’t want me to take Clomid again.  That is how awful it was.  Poor Doc had to give me multiple back massages to try and relieve the pain.  It was just awful. 

Here is the sunny side, because you know I have to say it all… by day 19 all symptoms were halved.  By day 20 the side effects were gone and I actually felt amazing.  I don’t know if it was just because it was such a relief to have the side effects gone or if the hormonal changes included this good day, but I felt great.  Of course that was also the day Doc ended up with the stomach flu and I spent the day taking care of him.  J

Yesterday was day 21 and I can’t tell you whether or not the side effects were gone because I caught Doc’s stomach flu, so who knows which problem is causing today’s nausea.  I think it is the stomach flu and that I would be feeling fine without it.  I managed to make it to the doctor’s office for my blood work and am still waiting to hear the results.  I hate the waiting game.  My next appointment is next week and that is when we will find out whether or not we were successful this month.  

We are still debating whether or not we will use Clomid again.  It may partially depend on what the doctor thinks.  I will say that this is not a drug you should take and assume that your life will continue on as normal.  It will not.  You will have side effects and they will limit your daily activities and you will not have total control over your emotions or body.  If you have vacation time to use, I suggest you take off for days 8-18.  Give yourself permission to take those days off and take care of yourself.  I will let you guys know when we decide whether or not it is worth another try.  Thank you to all the people that provided me with support during these awful days.  Friends are a wonderful distraction from troubles!  J