Not a lot has happened since my last post. I have had 2 more
healthy checkups with the OB. I caught a
cold and that resulted in some crazy side effects. I ended up with reactionary arthritis in my
right hand. My ring finger knuckle
suddenly became swollen and so painful I couldn’t move my hand. I couldn’t make a fist and it would throb all
night long. My amazing doctor sprung
into action to make sure I didn’t have an infection that was going to hurt our
son. It really was just a crazy reaction
to a cold, but I appreciate that my doctor worked so hard to make sure it
really wasn’t hurting the baby. That is
probably the scariest thing to have happened this month. My knuckle is still slightly swollen and
tender, but SO much better than it was.
Doc was in the middle of a crazy month and I am so thankful that my
brother-in-law came to help out with chores and walking the dogs while my hand
was non-functional. I am also thankful
that my doctor dealt with my crazy worry and just general insanity without
hating me. I have the very best doctors.
I am still
struggling with morning sickness. It isn’t
as severe as it was during the first trimester.
I usually get a few good days in before having a rough one and they seem
to precede a growth spurt by our son, so they are tolerable. I finally caved and took Zofram. It helped a little with the woozy feeling,
but I still barfed my brains out. I tried
it twice and it didn’t work. My doctor
said that happens for some people. So apparently
I should just get comfortable with throwing up.
At least I usually get a lot of notice before it happens. I can usually tell fairly early in the day
that we are going to end the day sick. I
just plan to be home on those nights. I
still haven’t gained any weight, but the doctor said it is fine as long as I am
able to eat enough to maintain my weight.
Apparently there are a few perks to starting out a little heavy! J
I did have to restrict some of my activities, which was really hard for
me. The one that is the hardest is that
I had to give up some of my time with my sweet niece. Since she was born last February I haven’t
gone more than 2 weeks without spending some quality time with her, so it
really feels weird to not spend as much time with her. I still see her twice a week, but for shorter
days and if one of us is sick I have to give up time with her. We just have to be much more careful than we
ever did before and that is hard for me.
I adore her and just love my time with her. I just hope she doesn’t hit 25 pounds any
time soon! She doesn’t hold a grudge
about the changes to our schedule and I still get excited greetings from her
every time I see her. I can’t wait to
introduce her to our son. It fills me
with absolute joy to think of them growing together!
With the bad there
does come the good though. The good is
that I was very lucky and began feeling our son move really early. At 15 weeks I got to feel that magical
feeling. I hadn’t thought I would feel
him until I was much closer to 20 weeks, but as I sat at the dentist’s office I
was delighted with baby flips. At first
I thought it was just a case of nervous stomach or some other crazy pregnancy
symptom, but after 3 runs to the bathroom with nothing happening I finally
figured out that the sensation was moving up and down and not across my
belly like gas would. Then I had to
laugh at myself for not figuring it out sooner and called Doc crying I was so
delighted. Since then our son has had a
few active days and a few quiet ones.
Doc has spent nearly every day trying to feel him move too. He has had a few instances where he thought
maybe he felt something, but last night our son finally let Daddy know he was
there by delivering a solid thud against his hand during some of his
gymnastics. We have found a few things
that really get him excited and will cause him to boogie down. The first is music, but not just any
music! Mostly classical that involves
pianos and strings, although he also likes Frank Sinatra, Pink Floyd, The
Beatles, and Elton John. Last night we
played The Beatles followed by Elton John to get him excited and it seems our
son has a great since of timing already as he thumped Doc’s hand during Tiny
Dancer. J The second thing that
gets him excited is the sound of his Daddy’s voice. Already a Daddy’s boy! Doc had a very intense month last month and
was only off for 3 days the whole month.
Baby boy was so happy those days!
Finally, he likes the sound of Harrison Ford’s voice; which Doc and his
brother simultaneously said was because he understood Han Solo was the
man. There are few things baby boy does
not like. I know this because he
responds by snuggling down into my pelvis and kicking the crud out of my
bladder until I stop doing whatever has upset him. These things are; standing or walking for too
long, not eating when he thinks I should, opera music, and flutes. He is obviously opinionated already (like his momma!). I am in for a heck of an adventure with this
guy!
Despite the
fatigue, continued sickness, and the need to limit my schedule and activities I
love being pregnant. All of those things
are hard but they are all fleeting, and I know all too well how fleeting a
pregnancy can be and am cherishing every minute of this one. So far we are both healthy and that is such
an amazing thing all by itself. My OB
visits have been spaced out to 4 weeks between visits, which means our boy is
right on schedule and the doctor feels comfortable following a more normal
visit schedule. We have had some
additional tests run to check for spinal deformities and we have a level 2
ultrasound scheduled later this month, but so far things are progressing
perfectly. Despite my lack of weight
gain baby boy is obviously here in my well rounded belly. I have no problem with the baby belly. I have read all of these articles about body
image issues in pregnancy and I just don’t have them. I love the big belly. I love looking pregnant. It is a gift to be pregnant and I just don’t
want to spend any time hating any part of it.
I am not a fan of all of it, but the changes to my body are the badges
of motherhood. Not everyone is so lucky
to get to experience these changes. I
pray every day that this pregnancy continues to be healthy and that our son is
healthy and happy.
My final comment
is a PSA of sorts to those people in health fields. Several times during this pregnancy I have
been asked by health professionals (nurses, doctors, dental assistants) if this
is my first pregnancy. I always say no,
because it isn’t, this is my third pregnancy.
If you ask this question follow up with, “how many live births have you
had” because it is a horrible thing when the person I am speaking to
automatically assumes that means I have 2 children. Especially if they say something like, “you
look fabulous to be pregnant with 2 little ones running around!” Because then I get to inform them that I
haven’t yet had a live birth. I feel
shame and like a failure every time this conversation takes place and it could
be so easily rectified if people didn’t assume every pregnancy is
successful. Especially when they know I
have undergone fertility treatments, which means I obviously haven’t had an
easy time getting pregnant. I realize I
could just as easily claim this is my first and only pregnancy, but why should
I have to lie? I have been pregnant
before. Each pregnancy has been very
different and his given me a different perspective to draw on. I shouldn’t be made to feel shame for having
had miscarriages and I shouldn’t have to hide the fact that they happen. If more people talked about it maybe we would
be better at supporting each other through it. Just a little food for thought. :-)
