It turns out that although I only had to take Comid for 5 days, the side effects can last a bit longer. Side effects can include any number of things, but for me they seem to center around these: nausea, dizziness, and spots in vision, physical symptoms of anxiety, and a few mood swings.
Needless to say, there have been a few extra prayers going up this month as I hang out on the bathroom floor, “Please don’t make me have to take this drug again.” I now know why Doc’s colleague refers to Clomid as an evil little drug. It is evil and I am pretty sure it hates me.
The side effects can be a bit overwhelming and once again I find myself thankful I am not working. (I have to wonder if that wasn’t someone’s plan all along.) I am also so thankful to have Doc as my partner through this. He responds to me with concern and compassion, and very frequently humor which helps me manage everything better. I couldn’t ask for anything more. He really makes an effort to be with me on every step of this journey. I think a part of him is probably happy that he isn’t the one on the bathroom floor, or lying in bed for an hour after sex, or seeing spots, or having panic symptoms, but at the same time I think he would shoulder this burden if he could. He does such a good job of acknowledging that it is hard and tries to do his best to make everything he can easier on me in the mean time. I am a very lucky woman to have his love and support.
Despite the side effects we have maintained our busy schedule of dinners and appointments. Last night as we prepared for yet another recruiting dinner, I was feeling a bit irritable and out of sorts. Doc found this a little funny and also a little scary, because we really did need to entertain people soon. He kindly asked if I wanted to skip the dinner, which of course was met with hormonal rage. I was already dressed and still fussing in the mirror; obviously I was planning on going! I knew by Doc’s expression that he knew this was hormonal, and he also knew that I knew it is hormonal, so what happened next was perfect… Doc looked at me, very seriously, adjusts my sweater and while completely ignoring whatever argument I was starting says, “Your boobs look really good tonight.” It completely took the wind out of my sails. How do you pick a fight with that?!? I say, “thank you” because I couldn’t really think of anything else to say, he totally knocked me off balance with that one. I then watch Doc look down, slowly step to the side and back away from me with the smallest self-satisfied grin on his face. He knew he just expertly maneuvered a hormonal mind field and he was very pleased with himself. I started laughing and continued to laugh for the rest of the evening.
Busy schedule aside, we are managing this situation to the best of our ability. We are staying on schedule and even having fun again. J Apparently all we needed was the doctor to order us to have fun when we make love. When side effects rear their ugly heads during dinners or with friends and family we just apologize and explain. Once again I have found that the benefit of being open and honest about this struggle is that people really are pretty understanding when you give them the chance to be. J
Way to go Doc. That was an awesome response he had to your emotional minefield.
ReplyDeleteIt still makes me laugh. He can be pretty psych savvy when he needs to be!
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