March 27th, 2014 – Epic Fail

    We went to the hospital on Sunday as planned and proceeded with the induction process.  When I arrived I was already in labor; contractions had started and my cervix was thinning and dilating (1 cm).  We were all very hopeful that things would go smoothly… but that really isn’t our style, is it?  

    Our hospital is incredibly nice.  We have every luxury available to make the stay comfortable; whirlpool tub, shower, large suite, bed that adjusts into any position you could want, birthing balls, rocking chairs, wireless monitors if you want to walk… but it is really hard to get comfortable when you are settling in for hours of labor.  I was tethered to machines from every direction.  I had to wear the belly monitors constantly to monitor baby and contractions.  One arm had the IV and the other had the blood pressure cuff, which I had to wear non-stop because it requires close monitoring.  I could handle the contractions.  Really laboring surrounded by luxury, friends, and excited anticipation of meeting my son was so much easier than our miscarriage 2 years ago that I don’t think I could even bring myself to complain about pain.  Really there were only a few things to complain about as we got started.  The first was that you are not allowed to eat once you are there and I was so nervous before we left that I couldn’t eat, so the last time I had eaten was around 3 on Sunday.  The second is that the nurses have to check you and I had a few impatient nurses that would try and manipulate my cervix into opening.  OUCH!!!  Finally, once they put the ripening agent in you have to lie in bed for 2 hours.  On a normal day I get up to pee every hour or so.  Lying for 2 hours knowing I can’t move is pretty horrible (but it has a lot to do with my need for control). 

    Once the ripening agent was in I was bed ridden, so they gave me an Ambien (which I had never had before) and I drifted off to sleep.  Fire alarms went off during the night for at least 2 hours and fire trucks were pulling up next the hospital, so I knew something exciting was happening.  Apparently the cafeteria caught fire.  Rumor has it that in my Ambein zombie state, fueled by relentless hunger, I stormed the cafeteria looking for jello parfaits and when I couldn't find them I decided to burn the place down... but I cannot confirm nor deny such allegations at this time.   The plan had been for Doc to get his food from the cafeteria because it was close and easy, so this was going to make things more difficult.  

    Monday rolled around and I was exhausted, but also too excited to sleep.  We started the Pitocin and contractions kept coming.  Despite all the contractions, my cervix wouldn’t budge.  We maxed out on Pitocin and then they gave me more… still nothing but contractions.  My OB came up several times to check on me and write orders, so I knew I was in good hands.  Monday night we decided to try a different cervical ripening agent.  The new one had to be placed every 4 hours, followed by 2 hours of bed time.  Ambien again, which I really don’t like.  It makes me feel drunk and weird and although I get sleep, I feel like I have a hangover of tired the next day.  I tried to refuse it, but my night nurse wasn’t having any of that.  I actually tried to refuse any additional drugs Monday night because I was nauseated, had a headache, and was so swollen my ID band had cut off circulation to my hand.  It scared me to be suddenly that swollen.  My skin felt like it was going to split open. But the nurse had her orders and was going to follow them despite my protests.  The night nurses on our labor and delivery wing are not as nice as the day nurses.   

    The one good thing about failing induction at the end of the first night was that I was given some yard time.  I got 1 hour off all monitors where I could get in the whirlpool tub and eat!  After 26 hours with nothing but clear liquids I shoved as much food in my face as I could stand.  Contractions are hard work!  That hour was the most glorious hour ever!  Contractions in a whirlpool tub are awesome.  There is no crushing pressure, everything just feels better in a whirlpool tub.  J

    Day 2 of our induction was a repeat of the same.  No progress and the contractions were starting to fizzle.  My body was exhausted and not going to progress.  By Tuesday afternoon I had maxed out my Pitocin and was making no progress.  They kept me to monitor the baby for another hour and then let me go home.  Doc was back at work Tuesday night.  I am on very strict bed rest. 

    This morning I met with my OB at his office.  The office staff had never heard of an induction failing, so it must not happen very often.  My poor OB is frustrated and worried, as is Doc.  My son is handling all of this very well.  Contractions have continued, but my cervix remains firm.  It actually has gone from being 80% effaced last Thursday to only 20% today and it remains less than 2 cm dilated.  It is like my body is working in reverse!  My doctor explained that at this point the concern becomes about maternal health, meaning we are really risking my health and wellbeing with waiting.  Obviously none of us want that, so we have had to make some tough decisions.  Here is what we have come up with: we will go in Saturday night for another round of cervical ripening and start Pitocin again on Sunday.  If there is no progress by Sunday afternoon/evening, my doctor will come and C-section me.  This has been a very difficult and emotional decision for me to make.  There are a lot of factors to consider and I tend to put my own comfort last, which in this case could be dangerous.  Some of the concerns are that because of all the drugs I have had this week my body might spontaneously try to deliver my son very rapidly, which is dangerous for both of us and something I know Doc has been very worried about.  Another concern is that they will break my water at 3 cm and then labor will stall and we end up in an emergency C-section.  I discussed this with my doctor today, because OBs have a different time table than pediatricians for how long labor should continue once the water is broken.  There are serious implications for the baby if labor goes too long after water is broken.  Finally, the stress of the drugs and labor may be too much for my body and I could end up with some serious and deadly complications (stroke, organ failure) none of which we want at all.  So, in the end I know the right decision is to go with my doctor on this and consent to a C-section.

    Through all of this my husband has been amazing.  I couldn’t be more in love with him.  He spent every moment comforting me, supporting me, and providing me with anything I needed, sometimes before I knew I needed it.  He was amazing.  He gave up sleep and food and was just my unwavering support.  My sweet friend brought him breakfast and I had to force him to eat it.  He didn’t want to eat in front of me, but didn’t want to leave me alone.  He didn't want to miss a moment of this adventure.  He was just so thoughtful and sweet.  We finally convinced him to go grab some food while my friend stayed with me.  He wouldn’t leave my side unless she was there and even then he was gone for less than 10 minutes.  I couldn’t have felt more loved or cherished by him.  I know he was disappointed that he didn’t get to meet his son and that we have to wait a little longer, but he did his very best to handle those emotions.  When I was reaching my limits he knew.  I would laugh and joke with the nurses and then cry the moment we were alone.  It was a tough few days.  I still feel like I am recovering and I am sure Doc is too.  I hope people appreciate what he has been through this week and the fact that he is still showing up at work and giving 100% there while managing a very emotional and difficult week at home.  I couldn’t be more proud of him.  I couldn’t be more amazed and awed by his magnificent strength of character and compassion.  He has been truly selfless when it mattered most and I will forever be grateful to my hero.  My son is the luckiest boy in the world, because he has the most amazing dad in the world.  I couldn't ask for more.  

March 11th, 2014 – So Close

It is amazing how quickly time flies!  In only 2 short weeks we will be holding our son.  I saw the OB this morning and he is keeping a very close eye on us both.  Baby boy is growing right on schedule.  I have a little sinus infection, which normally I would let resolve without antibiotics, but being so close to delivery we decided to treat it.  I worry a lot about our baby being born while there is so much respiratory junk still going around.  We had a long winter and the hospital is full of sick kids.  It will make Doc and I both more paranoid about people holding and visiting with our son.  The problem of knowing too much is very real.  I will be counting down the days until our son is fully vaccinated.  Most people probably don’t give it that much thought, but most people don’t see the horror stories. 

For the most part I have been doing well.  In the last 2 days I have become very swollen, but the doctor said it was just another sign of impending labor.  I made the nurse laugh because I told her the weight gain wasn’t from eating Chinese food this time.  I don’t like the swelling because it means I had to take my wedding rings off.  The only other time I have had them off was when I broke my wrist our first year of marriage.  I really hate having them off.  The doctor said my body is ready for this baby to come and has begun its own count down.  It feels like it has gone much too fast! 

The plan at this point is to induce me at 37 weeks.  Depending on labs and how the baby is doing it could be sooner.  My doctor has been ordering a ton of labs and weekly 24 hour urine analysis as well as NSTs.  He said today that he doesn’t want to skip a week and rock the boat because he knows the moment we take our eyes off of it things will go wrong.  I agreed.  I think we all feel better watching closely, especially this close to the end.  I can handle the sticks, tests, and inconvenient collections.  As long as my son is healthy, I am okay. 

Once we hit 37 weeks I will go in on Sunday for cervical ripening.  This is when they put oxytocin on the cervix to help it soften and efface.  Normally this happens all by itself, but because we are not waiting for natural labor to begin the folks at the hospital are going to help me out.  Then Monday morning they will start giving me Pitocin to stimulate contractions (if they haven’t started on their own).  Even if contractions have started on their own they may still give me Pitocin to increase the speed of labor.  I have been asked a few times why they don’t just wait and let me do it naturally.   The main reason is that the longer they allow me to be pregnant, the higher my blood pressure will become.  High blood pressure during pregnancy is a problem for many reasons.  First, the increased pressure decreases blood flow to the baby, limiting his oxygen supply.  Second, it puts me at an increased risk of stroke, seizures, and organ failure.  During the normal progression of a pregnancy blood pressure increases, and for most people these increases are not significant enough to cause impairment.  In cases of preeclampsia or eclampsia it becomes a much bigger issue.  So they don’t let women with preeclampsia or eclampsia wait until 40 weeks to deliver.  Delivery provides additional risk for these women because during delivery blood pressure increases naturally.  Blood pressure increases as pain increases and it also increases with each push a woman makes during labor.  For these reasons I won’t be allowed to labor naturally and they will attempt to make the process as quick as possible.  So once I am admitted to the hospital I will be stuck in a bed hooked up to a lot of monitors.  I find this very frustrating and it is not at all how I had hoped I would be able to labor, but it is what needs to happen in order for me to bring my son safely into this world.  I am holding out hope that things with the induction will progress smoothly and we will be able to deliver without the need of a C-section, but we will all just have to wait and see.  I am kind of amazed at the reactions I get about being induced.  People seem to think I just can’t wait to meet him or that I don’t want to labor naturally.  Neither of which are true.  I was looking forward to sharing my birthday (or close to it with my son) and was perfectly happy to wait until April to meet him.  I also had been looking forward to being allowed to labor for at least a little while in the comfort of my home or being allowed to walk the halls of the hospital before being admitted for delivery, but those things are out of my control.  When I get my epidural may also be out of my control because pain management is one of the ways they try to reduce blood pressure increases.  It is very difficult for me to give up this much control, especially over my own body.  I am very grateful that I have a friend who is a labor and delivery nurse who has helped me understand what things I can control, or at least ask about, and get a better understanding of the process in general.  I have asked my doctor about a few of these things and he is happy to let me do what I can, but makes sure I understand that at any moment things could change and we may need to do things differently.  It is a tough situation to be in.  I try to focus on the end result of a happy and healthy baby boy who I am looking forward to finally meeting! 

March 1st, 2014 – Cruisin Right Along

    The final countdown is on.  We are 34 weeks and hoping to make it to 37 weeks.  Last week I had a lovely break from the symptoms of pre-eclampsia.  This week the BP is back on the rise, but that is to be expected from what the OB said.  For the first time during this pregnancy I am actually doing a good job of taking it easy.  I sleep, eat, and rest when my body says to.  The nursery is ready.  Bags are packed and I am ready to head to the hospital whenever Baby Boy decides to make his appearance into the world. 

    Our OB was on vacation this week; he schedules vacations all the time and then cancels them but I told him he needed to take this one before our little one arrives.  J So, I saw one of his partners instead.  I really liked her.  I have had several encounters with different partners in the group and she is definitely my top pick to see when my guy isn’t available.  She understood his treatment plan and followed up the way I think he would have liked.  I didn’t feel like she was going to overlook anything, which was really nice.  She said our little man measures right at 34 weeks and appears to be doing very well.  She wasn’t at all worried and said she will be excited to see him because she thinks he is just going to be an early baby.  She was a 34 weeker herself, so that made me feel a lot better.  She followed up with labs and a non-stress test (NST).  Baby boy is really doing well and could come any time.  J

    Throughout the pregnancy Doc and I have discussed who our son will take after and in what ways.  The running joke has been if he is early or on time then he takes after me, running late and he takes after Doc.  We now know he will be at least 3 weeks early, so apparently he takes after me.  J He has also found his own way to be in charge, so again takes after me.  I was thinking last night about how often I frustrated my mom growing up for finding my own weird way to do things and how I never followed the “normal” path.  It drove her nuts.  Apparently, I am going to see what that is like for myself, because our son seems determined to outdo me on the ‘find your own path’ parts of life.  Regardless we are ready to meet him and find out all of his favorite things.  Our family members and friends are getting their vaccinations up to date.  Yes, we do really require people to have their vaccines if they want to visit before Baby Boy is 6 months old.  Things are just coming together nicely.  Now I just have to sit back and relax!