October 3, 2011 - Welcome to October!

Welcome to October, my favorite month of the year!  Of course right now we just know it as month 4 of trying to get pregnant.  I have to say that even though our doctor told us we were going to have trouble getting pregnant, and even though in 10 years of marriage we have only gotten pregnant once, there was a part of me that thought I would be pregnant by now.  Sadly, we are not.  I’m really disappointed and feeling pretty down today, so forgive me if this isn’t as hopeful as usual.  I wanted to be honest and share all sides this struggle, and some days just suck more than others.  The dark secret of the moment is that I cry at the mere mention of family, or sight of a big baby bump, and at pampers commercials.  Yep, the thought of dirty diapers makes me cry, and not in the way you might think!  I realize what we are missing out on, which makes me sad.  L

Doc and I have had a lot of thinking to do about how we will continue this journey.  We are very fortunate that Doc’s job provides us with excellent insurance, which doesn’t require a waiting period for pregnancy.  We are also blessed with access to some of the best healthcare available.  See, Doc is a resident at one hospital, but that hospital is part of a large organization of hospitals, clinics, and private practices.  Fortunately, any physician in that network is considered “in network” for our insurance, so we can pretty much see any physician in our area and if we incur expenses at the hospital, the program will cover a portion of the bill.  It’s like being part of the mob, if the mob were a huge group of fantastic doctors whose goal it was to make the world a better place by providing top-notch healthcare.  The downside (doesn’t there always have to be a downside?) is that fertility treatments are not covered at all by our insurance and while the hospital can write off things like supplies, the doctor performing the tasks still has to be paid.  So, while we have access to the best healthcare, it doesn’t matter because we can’t afford the treatments.  Which is today’s second suckfest, I know.  L

So, what have Doc and I talked about?  We have been trying to figure out how much money we should spend on trying to get pregnant and whether we should consider adoption instead.  Med-school was very expensive, and more than a fourth of our income will go towards student loan payments for the next 10 years (at least), and residents don’t make that much money (McDonald’s money) and despite common opinion, doctors really don’t make as much as people might think (at least pediatricians don’t), so we have to consider the financial ramifications of our choices.  For the moment we have decided to continue on with trying to get pregnant, with a better understanding that we may have some tough choices ahead.  There are a lot of tests and procedures that have to happen before fertility treatments can begin, so we need to talk to our doctor about spreading those tests out so that we can make the process more affordable.  Hopefully this won’t add too much time to the process, because as we all know I’m old and the clock is ticking on my fertile years.

Keeping in touch with our doctors has become second nature now that we understand how much more smoothly things go when our doctors are informed.  We’ve signed releases so that the OB and GP can communicate, which also makes it possible for our GP to order and run tests that might cost more if done at the OB.  It helps that our GP was a resident in this network and she understands how to get things covered either by insurance or the hospital.  In a couple of weeks I have my next scheduled appointment and we will discuss options for spreading out testing.  I will also check to see if she has any helpful money saving tips or if she knows which tests will get us the most info for the money.  We need to be proactive in our situation, which means we need to be doing our own research and we need to walk into appointments informed.  Hopefully our doctor appointment goes smoothly and she has some good ideas for improving our odds.  I’ll let you all know what we figure out! J