September 27, 2011 - Timing is Everything

When Doc & I first met we were young and pretty much your typical college students.  We functioned on minimal sleep, ate way too much junk food, and regularly closed bars that had live bands.  To top it all off, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.  It didn’t seem to matter that we had less than 3 hours of sleep.  Sometimes we even skipped sleep so that we could have of some quality time together. 

Fast forward 13 years and you have a different story.  Not that we have less love for each other (I’d argue the opposite) and it isn’t that we don’t enjoy each others company (he’s still my best friend & I’m his).  It is just that now we have a ton of responsibilities and pesky lives to live.  We don’t close any bars (or go to them at all), we don’t go to live shows, junk food gives us tummy aches, and we don’t skip sleep unless we absolutely have to.  When we do skip sleep we are supper cranky and really not functioning well.  So, imagine how difficult it is to conceive with only a 24 hour window of opportunity.  It wouldn’t be that hard if we actually had a full 24 hours, but the reality is that we end up with a much smaller window.  Doc worked 16 hour shifts this weekend, so that knocked us down to 8 hours of actual time together.  By the time he came home, he was understandably exhausted, so he was pretty much in an eat/sleep mood.  Not exactly baby-making heaven, but we of coursed worked it out J

The thing I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with is Doc’s job.  Not that I’m complaining about my husband running off to save babies ever day.  What I get frustrated with is that we have absolutely no control over when he works.  We don’t get a say.  He works long, hard hours, getting paid the same as your average McDonald’s employee and our lives get put on hold in the process.  This is frustrating because we put our lives on hold to get here, so that he could go to med-school.  We moved because medicine demanded it.  I lost my career in that move.  We will most likely be facing another move in 2.5 years again because medicine will again demand it.  It just leaves me wondering “when will this be our life again?”  I refuse to put off starting our family any longer, so medicine can kind of suck on that.  And it isn’t that the hospital is asking us to, it is just the reality of his job that makes it difficult.  When you only have 24 hours to try and make a baby, timing is everything.