We have officially
been parents for 21 days now! It has
been an interesting journey. We have had
so much to learn and so has our son.
There is just so much that they don’t tell you about being a parent and
even what they do say doesn’t make much sense until you live it. So far we have had adventures with
circumcision and upper respiratory junk and had several appointments to see the
pediatrician.
Our little guy has
been quite the trooper as we learn on the fly.
The moment he was born we had learning to do. My first lessons were in feeding him. Something that seems so natural and normal is
surprisingly complicated. The first thing
I learned was OUCH! Breastfeeding hurts. No one talks about that. Everything I knew about breastfeeding came from
watching videos, reading, seeing friends do it, and knowing that pediatricians
all recommend it. In all my knowledge seeking
no one mentioned pain! Breastfeeding
hurts, at least at first. No one mentions
that you essentially need to build up callouses on your nipples and that in
order to do that they first crack, blister, and become very, very painful just
like any other skin that is building a callous (only on your NIPPLES!). So, for anyone reading this that is planning
on breastfeeding I am saying it.
Breastfeeding hurts and it hurts every time you feed until your breasts
are healed which is a couple of weeks.
Stick with it if you can, but if you can’t I don’t think anyone can
blame you. Work with lactation
specialists and learn how to get your child to latch properly. Our lactation specialists were amazing and
totally saved my breasts!
This skill is
learned in the hospital while surrounded by people telling you what to do. And while our hospital has an amazing
lactation consultation service our nursing staff had their own opinions about
how things should be done. So at times I
heard conflicting advice and felt pressure to supplement when I really didn’t
need to. I took the route of the student
and asked everyone who came into my room questions. I took advice from pediatricians (who were
also moms), nurses, and lactation specialists.
I breastfed in front of a lot of people just to make sure I was doing it
right. Here is what I learned. First off, no matter what the nurses tell
you, you don’t need to supplement. If
you are waiting for your milk to come in you just need to offer the breast more
frequently. Doing this will help your
milk come in. Supplementing can actually
interfere with your milk supply, so don’t do it if you can avoid it. I started by offering each breast for 5
minutes at a time every two hours or as soon as Monkey started rooting (which
was any time he was awake). By the time
I left the hospital I was up to 10 minutes a breast for every session. The hard part with a newborn is keeping them
awake for the entire feeding!
Second, all babies
lose weight just after birth. The nurses
were freaking out because our little guy was down 5% of his birth weight. This had them making me feel like a terrible
mom for not giving up on breastfeeding and using formula instead. However, every pediatrician who saw him noted
his weight loss and said it was fine and I didn’t need to supplement. Ask more than one person if you are getting conflicting
advice. If it hadn’t been for the
doctors and lactation consultants I would have been shamed into formula feeding
by the labor nurses.
Newborns need to
eat every 2-3 hours and they need to feed off booth breasts in order to help establish
a solid milk supply. We left the
hospital a day early and my milk had already come in before I left. This is super early for a first time mom and
I think it had a lot to do with the pediatricians and lactation staff supporting
me in continuing to offer the breast instead of supplementing. The nurses did convince me to supplement on a
couple of occasions and what I learned was that our little guy was eating plenty
from the breast and he really preferred breast milk to the formula. The formula also seemed to make him very
gassy, which made him fussy and that was no fun for anyone.
Finally, offering
the bottle and even the pacifier was interfering with his learning to latch properly. Even still if I offer the breast after he has
had a pacifier I have to take him off the breast and work on getting him
properly latched. Improper latch is SO
painful! Toe curling pain. I have kicked the dog off the foot rest of my
chair repeatedly when he latches improperly, it is that painful. Thankfully our little guy doesn’t seem too
fond of the pacifier!
I also learned a
couple of tips for helping keep the nipple damage and pain to a minimum. The first was to use hard plastic shields to
keep anything from touching or rubbing your nipples. Our hospital had Medela shields that they
offered me. They look ridiculous (like
old school Madonna) but they really do help.
Although once your milk comes in they just get gross, so I stopped using
them. The second is to use lanolin on
your nipples to help with the chaffing.
Our little guy would refuse to latch when I used it, so it wasn’t really
an option. He would literally latch and
instantly open his mouth wide and remove himself from the breast. I had several doctors and all the nurses tell
me this was nonsense (in my head). Then
I spoke with a lactation consultant and a pediatrician who both had seen it
before. Some babies don’t like lanolin,
but it seems most don’t notice it. This
epiphany did lead me to a better solution though. Instead of using the lanolin, hand express at
the end of the feeding and allow the colostrum to dry on the nipple. This actually healed my cracked nipples in no
time. Much faster than what I was seeing
with the lanolin. So, you might give it
a try if you are suffering the way I was.
The other side of
breastfeeding that I hadn’t really considered much before is that you become
the sole provider for nourishment, which means you are up every time he needs
to eat. We are 3 weeks in and the
longest Monkey has gone between feeds is 5 hours. Even that is only once or twice a day. He averages about 7 feeding sessions a day,
so the average time between feedings is less than 4 hours. Each session takes about an hour. I get him up, change him, feed him for 10
minutes on each breast, and then we need to spend about 20 minutes up right to
help him with his reflux. That leaves 3
hours for me to get any personal chores done and sleep. I average no more than 2 hours of sleep at a
time for the past 3 weeks. One day Doc
took him and I got 4 hours. It was
glorious. But for the average day I am
seriously sleep deprived. I have started
pumping, but we haven’t really used any of that supply yet. We are saving it up. It was recommended to us that we save it for
when he is older and gets sick. I pumped
and save colostrum for that very purpose.
We know a pediatrician who swears by it, and since she gave me the rub
colostrum on my nipples tip, I believe her.
Overall I think
breastfeeding has been worth the time and pain.
Little man picked up a little upper respiratory junk and it seems to
have resolved quickly. Doc said he
thinks the breastfeeding is what helped.
I think it also helped me establish a schedule, which makes all of our
lives easier. Little man is a very
happy and easy going baby and while I think a large part of that is just his
personality I also think that the schedule helps with that. I have noticed that when his schedule is
disrupted by visits or appointments he is a lot less easy going and gets fussy. At 21 days old his is starting to tolerate
small disruptions and adjustments to the schedule, but he really prefers when
he knows what comes next in his day.
Finally, I think the time I spend feeding him is full of quality bonding. I was the first person he made eye contact
with and it was while he was attached to the breast. It is a very special feeling to be able to
provide nourishment and comfort to your child no matter where you are or what
is going on. If that doesn’t sell you on
breastfeeding, then maybe this will… you burn 500 extra calories a day
breastfeeding! That is like 2 snickers
bars. ;-)
Excellent!
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