March 27th, 2014 – Epic Fail

    We went to the hospital on Sunday as planned and proceeded with the induction process.  When I arrived I was already in labor; contractions had started and my cervix was thinning and dilating (1 cm).  We were all very hopeful that things would go smoothly… but that really isn’t our style, is it?  

    Our hospital is incredibly nice.  We have every luxury available to make the stay comfortable; whirlpool tub, shower, large suite, bed that adjusts into any position you could want, birthing balls, rocking chairs, wireless monitors if you want to walk… but it is really hard to get comfortable when you are settling in for hours of labor.  I was tethered to machines from every direction.  I had to wear the belly monitors constantly to monitor baby and contractions.  One arm had the IV and the other had the blood pressure cuff, which I had to wear non-stop because it requires close monitoring.  I could handle the contractions.  Really laboring surrounded by luxury, friends, and excited anticipation of meeting my son was so much easier than our miscarriage 2 years ago that I don’t think I could even bring myself to complain about pain.  Really there were only a few things to complain about as we got started.  The first was that you are not allowed to eat once you are there and I was so nervous before we left that I couldn’t eat, so the last time I had eaten was around 3 on Sunday.  The second is that the nurses have to check you and I had a few impatient nurses that would try and manipulate my cervix into opening.  OUCH!!!  Finally, once they put the ripening agent in you have to lie in bed for 2 hours.  On a normal day I get up to pee every hour or so.  Lying for 2 hours knowing I can’t move is pretty horrible (but it has a lot to do with my need for control). 

    Once the ripening agent was in I was bed ridden, so they gave me an Ambien (which I had never had before) and I drifted off to sleep.  Fire alarms went off during the night for at least 2 hours and fire trucks were pulling up next the hospital, so I knew something exciting was happening.  Apparently the cafeteria caught fire.  Rumor has it that in my Ambein zombie state, fueled by relentless hunger, I stormed the cafeteria looking for jello parfaits and when I couldn't find them I decided to burn the place down... but I cannot confirm nor deny such allegations at this time.   The plan had been for Doc to get his food from the cafeteria because it was close and easy, so this was going to make things more difficult.  

    Monday rolled around and I was exhausted, but also too excited to sleep.  We started the Pitocin and contractions kept coming.  Despite all the contractions, my cervix wouldn’t budge.  We maxed out on Pitocin and then they gave me more… still nothing but contractions.  My OB came up several times to check on me and write orders, so I knew I was in good hands.  Monday night we decided to try a different cervical ripening agent.  The new one had to be placed every 4 hours, followed by 2 hours of bed time.  Ambien again, which I really don’t like.  It makes me feel drunk and weird and although I get sleep, I feel like I have a hangover of tired the next day.  I tried to refuse it, but my night nurse wasn’t having any of that.  I actually tried to refuse any additional drugs Monday night because I was nauseated, had a headache, and was so swollen my ID band had cut off circulation to my hand.  It scared me to be suddenly that swollen.  My skin felt like it was going to split open. But the nurse had her orders and was going to follow them despite my protests.  The night nurses on our labor and delivery wing are not as nice as the day nurses.   

    The one good thing about failing induction at the end of the first night was that I was given some yard time.  I got 1 hour off all monitors where I could get in the whirlpool tub and eat!  After 26 hours with nothing but clear liquids I shoved as much food in my face as I could stand.  Contractions are hard work!  That hour was the most glorious hour ever!  Contractions in a whirlpool tub are awesome.  There is no crushing pressure, everything just feels better in a whirlpool tub.  J

    Day 2 of our induction was a repeat of the same.  No progress and the contractions were starting to fizzle.  My body was exhausted and not going to progress.  By Tuesday afternoon I had maxed out my Pitocin and was making no progress.  They kept me to monitor the baby for another hour and then let me go home.  Doc was back at work Tuesday night.  I am on very strict bed rest. 

    This morning I met with my OB at his office.  The office staff had never heard of an induction failing, so it must not happen very often.  My poor OB is frustrated and worried, as is Doc.  My son is handling all of this very well.  Contractions have continued, but my cervix remains firm.  It actually has gone from being 80% effaced last Thursday to only 20% today and it remains less than 2 cm dilated.  It is like my body is working in reverse!  My doctor explained that at this point the concern becomes about maternal health, meaning we are really risking my health and wellbeing with waiting.  Obviously none of us want that, so we have had to make some tough decisions.  Here is what we have come up with: we will go in Saturday night for another round of cervical ripening and start Pitocin again on Sunday.  If there is no progress by Sunday afternoon/evening, my doctor will come and C-section me.  This has been a very difficult and emotional decision for me to make.  There are a lot of factors to consider and I tend to put my own comfort last, which in this case could be dangerous.  Some of the concerns are that because of all the drugs I have had this week my body might spontaneously try to deliver my son very rapidly, which is dangerous for both of us and something I know Doc has been very worried about.  Another concern is that they will break my water at 3 cm and then labor will stall and we end up in an emergency C-section.  I discussed this with my doctor today, because OBs have a different time table than pediatricians for how long labor should continue once the water is broken.  There are serious implications for the baby if labor goes too long after water is broken.  Finally, the stress of the drugs and labor may be too much for my body and I could end up with some serious and deadly complications (stroke, organ failure) none of which we want at all.  So, in the end I know the right decision is to go with my doctor on this and consent to a C-section.

    Through all of this my husband has been amazing.  I couldn’t be more in love with him.  He spent every moment comforting me, supporting me, and providing me with anything I needed, sometimes before I knew I needed it.  He was amazing.  He gave up sleep and food and was just my unwavering support.  My sweet friend brought him breakfast and I had to force him to eat it.  He didn’t want to eat in front of me, but didn’t want to leave me alone.  He didn't want to miss a moment of this adventure.  He was just so thoughtful and sweet.  We finally convinced him to go grab some food while my friend stayed with me.  He wouldn’t leave my side unless she was there and even then he was gone for less than 10 minutes.  I couldn’t have felt more loved or cherished by him.  I know he was disappointed that he didn’t get to meet his son and that we have to wait a little longer, but he did his very best to handle those emotions.  When I was reaching my limits he knew.  I would laugh and joke with the nurses and then cry the moment we were alone.  It was a tough few days.  I still feel like I am recovering and I am sure Doc is too.  I hope people appreciate what he has been through this week and the fact that he is still showing up at work and giving 100% there while managing a very emotional and difficult week at home.  I couldn’t be more proud of him.  I couldn’t be more amazed and awed by his magnificent strength of character and compassion.  He has been truly selfless when it mattered most and I will forever be grateful to my hero.  My son is the luckiest boy in the world, because he has the most amazing dad in the world.  I couldn't ask for more.