February 20, 2013 – Another No

We are not pregnant again this month.  I want off this unmerry-go-round.  I seriously am starting to feel like my life is set on repeat.  Take pills, manage side effects, feel old and exhausted, have sex, get IUI, have sex, sore breasts, nauseated, crazy dreams, negative test, period, broken heart, rinse and repeat.  There are 4 more months of this before we can move on.  I didn’t think I would make it through 6 months of Clomid, but I did.  So I am assuming I will get through this too.  Just keep swimming.  The count down to my 35^th birthday and my impending infertility is also on.  The odds are just not in our favor.  I should probably accept that, but I am just too stubborn. 

So, instead I am trying to focus on the positives.  Here is what I came up this morning when I was done crying because I got my period:

1. Femara induced a good ovulation.  More eggs = better chances
2. Femara kept me much closer to my regular cycle.

That was all I could come up with right now.  This morning I had 3, but I can’t remember the third.  I will keep working on it.  I still have many things to be grateful for, I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself today.  This self pity is not cool, so I will be making cupcakes for the residents, stopping by to see my dear friend and her cuter than cute little baby girl, signing up for volunteer hours at the hospital, and cleaning my fridge.  If I am still having a pity party after all of that then I guess I just need a little time to feel sorry for myself and I will try again tomorrow.