April 20, 2013 – Dollars and Sense

I know it has been a while since I last updated everyone and I am sorry for that.  Doc and I have had a lot to think about, talk about, and process.  We completed our 4^th cycle and were unsuccessful again.  We met with the fertility doctor and he laid out our options for us.  He explained that the 5^th and 6^th IUI cycles are generally used to collect data to make for more successful IVF.  They don’t expect us to be successful during our 5^th or 6^th IUI.  They really just hope to stimulate my ovaries enough to produce eggs for cryo-storage. 

He laid out the options very clearly.  For the 5^th cycle they double my Femara, which we agreed to, and try another IUI.  Should that fail they suggest I have another endometriosis surgery to remove any adhesions, because according to him even one small speck of tissue in the wrong place can create an environment unsuitable for egg fertilization.  I’m not sure why he didn’t mention that before I did 4 sessions of IUI and spent thousands of dollars, but it is what it is.  For the 6^th session of IUI they want me to take injectable hormones.  Apparently they have maxed out my body’s ability to produce the hormones and they are just going to shoot me up with hormones to replace them.  The shots cost around a $1,000.  They also require much more intense monitoring which can cost up to $2,000 more.  That is $3,000 on top of the cost of the surgery to try another month of IUI.  Obviously we can’t afford that. 

He really kept pointing us to the fact that we are most likely going to need to do IVF if we wish to have a family.  A single round of IVF is around $12,500 here.  If we can’t afford the 6^th round of IUI we obviously can’t afford the IVF.  In short, we are done.  We cannot afford to continue on this journey.  It may be that in a few years we will be able to consider it, but for now it is an absolute no.  The doctor did say that he thought we would be able to consider IVF if we do it before I turn 37.  After that he said the quality of my eggs would be much too poor to produce viable candidates for implantation.  So we have 2 years to save the money.  That doesn’t feel like a very long time to save that much money, but we will give it our best shot. 

Obviously this has been a hard time for us.  Doc is encouraged that we have 2 years, I feel beaten down from the efforts of the last 2 years.  However, we won’t let it take away the everyday joys we feel in our lives.  We have a lot of wonderful things to be thankful for and we won’t waste our time being depressed about something we cannot change.  So, here is to the next 2 years.  We are looking forward to what is in store for us, even if it isn’t exactly what we wanted. 

**Before my inbox gets flooded by well-meaning but still insulting comments about adoption and all the unloved and unwanted children we could be taking care of, let me just address this point here.  Adoption isn’t free.  Even if you find someone who wants to give you a baby you still have to pay the state and court fees.   You still have to pay for contracts to be drawn up and to make sure your adoption is legal.  The cheap side of adoption is about $34,000.  We personally know someone who had 4 adoptions fall through before they were able to get a child.  They paid all the fees 4 times ($136,000) before they had a child in their arms and even then they had to fear the child would be taken away for almost 2 years before the process was completed.  It isn’t cheap and it isn’t easy and we simply aren’t there yet.  We are open to adopting children when our finances permit it, however we would first like the opportunity to have children if possible.  It is a personal and painful decision and I ask that you respect that this is our decision to make.